A day in the life of....

I awake before the sun

Staring at my reflection 

filling my mouth with fluoride-free foam

I wonder....

if whatever "this" is 

is worth getting out of the warm bed

 sandwiched between beloved and baby.

My clothes are laying there waiting to be filled.

I tiptoe for 30 minutes before I stir up the house.

Organic coffee brewing....check

concealer under my eyes...check

glitter on my lids (a clever distraction and request from a 6 year old boy) check

leftovers packed up for healthy lunch...check

deep breathe.

 get ready

up

to awaken the children

up to hear the protests

up to pick out the costumes 

up to repeat myself 50 or more times.

And then...

whoosh out to the frozen car

whooshing down the road

whooshing children into their school

whooshing to get to my job on time

taking care of "others's" for 8 hours a day

hearing the cries of wanting their mommies

hearing their cries of...I am so hungry

Hearing the sounds of laughter echoing of the bricks

feeling the ghosts of children's past

remembering the times that I played like this.

Monitoring them eat.

Monitoring them walk.

Monitoring them learn.

Monitoring their behaviors.

Monitoring their arms flying towards my face. 

Monitoring their spirit as they yearns for more.

 Understanding that more needs to be done.

Understanding that we are ALL tired.

Understanding that we are not paid based on our merit 

or 

how well we take care of their children

understanding that being punched in the eye is just a reflex

and that it cant matter

Knowing that this is temporary

it cannot last

the system does not acknowledge

them

or

us

Knowing that I can only do my best for as long as I can

Knowing that if I am not careful

the fluorescent lights will win

that the tap water will win

that the microwave will win

that if I am not careful

I will not move forward

and so

I clock out

Whooshing in busy traffic of life

hurrying to get to my own kids

that have been guarded 

and kept safe

by others

who do not get paid enough

that dont get acknowledged

that understand that being ignored

or punched in the face

or have left their homework home AGAIN

and

I find myself exhausted

and grateful

of

what I have

and who my children are

and that I am safe 

that they are safe

from fluorescent light bulbs

from microwaves

from processed foods

from sitting in a hard plastic chair

and we all fall into the door

drop our costumes

kick our shoes off in joy

even if it is only for a few hours

before I am tucking them in

kissing their faces

going through their book bags

organizing their tossed shoes

setting up the coffee pot

ripping my clothes off and sliding into my nice warm bed

next to my nice warm beloved

and dreaming of a time when money does not rule me

dreaming of a time when I can live off the land 

teach spiritual based workshops

write some children's books

and remember

that 

I made a difference...somewhere....